Ed Holpfer with Vistelar here.

When I tell friends and family I work for a conflict resolution group, someone inevitably asks “So you never get into arguments?”

Of course I do.


To err is human

It’s human nature to occasionally have conflict, but the power behind Verbal Defense & Influence is that it provides the framework necessary for resolving these differences in a healthy, constructive manner.

A recent spat between myself and a co-worker highlights the fact that even a well trained communicator will still get into arguments. The difference is how those arguments get resolved.

At the onset of this conflict, my co-worker and I initially approached the situation as many others do – we ignored each other. But after a day or two of cold shoulders, expressionless glances and a bare minimum of work-related talk, it came as no surprise that the issue hadn’t resolved itself.


LEAPS to the rescue

Finally, after we each had sufficient time to cool off, we began a dialogue to get to the heart of the issue.

I asked the other person to describe the incident from their viewpoint. As I did, I listened, asked questions, paraphrased what I had heard and summarized their statements to better understand and empathize with them.

Once I was sure we were on the same page, I stacked my blocks and began by saying “I understand how you could have felt that way…”


Positive outcomes

In the end, we resolved our differences without raising our voices, cursing or bloodshed.

So does Verbal Defense & Influence insulate you from ever getting into an argument? Of course not. But without that training, we’d still be stewing over something that turned out to be a simple misunderstanding.

That’s the true power behind our training.

Do you have a similar story? Are there any issues between yourself and another co-worker that could benefit from better conflict resolution tactics? Share your story in the comments section!



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